Saturday, May 30, 2009

Invisibility

I sometimes wonder if we all have experienced that feeling where we think we're invisible, that we don't need super powers to be overlooked. It's funny how you can stand there and people will bump past you without noticing they just shoved you with their shoulder. They don't turn their heads, they don't say sorry, they keep walking straight forward just as they were before. Or when you're talking to someone and they never respond. Then you finally realize they weren't even listening, and then you feel dumb, especially if you were saying something really personal. It's not even a, "I'm sorry, did you say something?" or "Wait, did you say what I think you said?" kind of thing. It's absolute unawareness of you even being there, nevermind that you're saying something to them.
It feels a bit weird saying that, since I'm purposely ignoring a friend of mine. I do know he's there, I just pretend he's not. He just irritates me so much in a way that I'd rather hurt his feelings by refusing to acknowledge his presence than spout angry words at him that I'm not confident that I can hold back any longer.
Sometimes, though, when you want to be left unnoticed, you're always seen. Particularly but certain adults known as teachers. They call on you when you don't know the answer and you think, why did you call on me when I'm already shrinking in my seat? But, I guess that's one of the things that I like about teachers. They notice you and, to a certain degree, they care. They can be unfair, they can give a lot of homework, they can give hard tests, they can yell, they can cry, but they care. And they notice.

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